Soulmaking 101:  the Art of Relating to Reactivity

First you will get a good look at the reactive nature of our own mind and body.  You’ll get a clearer understanding of the defensive mechanics of ego, and how, in this fearful contraction, we unwittingly create unnecessary suffering for ourselves and others.  Then you’ll begin to learn how to relate skillfully to these defenses, which first requires dispelling delusions, and dropping illusions, of grandeur and self-control.  Having given up hope, you’ll be ready to learn something truly new:  the paradoxical meta-method used by the world’s great mystics to dissolve the contraction of ego, the art of relating to reactivity (and creating freedom).

* Gain a deeper understanding of your emotions, greater Self-awareness *

* Develop more Compassion for yourself and others, the capacity for true forgiveness *

* Surrender the illusion of self-control, yet gain greater freedom from compulsive conditioning *

* Drop the delusion of guilt, obligation or victimhood, and become the powerful creator of your own life *

* Learn the secret of using ALL the messy, juicy stuff of life as a meditation, a path of awakening *

All of this will serve as a necessary foundation for still deeper work:

Tantric Conversation:  the Yoga of Telling the Truth

 Language is, by its very nature, dualistic, and can never adequately describe reality. Hence Lao Tzu’s statement: “Those who know do not say. Those who say do not know.”  But some ways of using language are more dualistic than others.  Ordinary conversation directs our attention to the conceptual content of thinking and tends to lead us ever deeper into the land of the mind.  But there is another way of speaking which points us, instead, toward witnessing the process of experience, leading us into the here and now.  When we’re lost in thought, this kind of conversation leads us home to the truth of what is.  This is communication as an interpersonal meditation-in-action – meditating face-to-face, meditating out loud.  And this is a particularly potent, juicy form of meditation, one which will enable you to:

* Express yourself authentically.  Be completely honest without cruelty *

* Shed your shame and self-criticism, and drop the addiction to approval *

* Relate skillfully to anger and use conflict creatively *

* Learn to listen, and harness the healing power of empathy *

* Ask for what you want, offer yourself, and learn to really give and receive *

* Create deeper love and intimacy, and use the emotional energy it evokes as fuel for transformation *

All of which will pave the way for…

Soulmaking Together:  the Crucible of Learning to Love

Lets face it: we all yearn to give and receive love.  We want to create deeper, more intimate relationships and true community.  And yet, we find that we, ourselves, are sabotaging the openness we want -- with our defensive conditioning, with old patterns of fear, dependency, and blame.  How are we to drop this rusty armor so that we may, at last, see each other clearly and hold each other closely?

Such is the challenge and the promise of transformational intimacy, spiritual friendship.  By sharing ourselves deeply with others, we reveal ourselves to ourselves.  By sharing the truth, we bring that which was in the shadows, hidden, out into the light of shared, compassionate awareness, where healing and deep forgiveness are possible.  We realize that the barriers to intimacy we have erected are also barriers to being fully alive and free.  We use the mirror of relationship to get a good look at these walls and battlements, and we help each other dismantle them.  In this way, even the loneliness, fear, and conflict that intimacy sometimes brings to the surface become a source of creativity, a womb for the birth of a new way of being.  As we let go of fearful beliefs and emotional reactivity, love becomes effortless – our own true nature.  

* Relate lovingly to “difficult people” and communicate cleanly even when others don’t *

* Clean up unfinished business with family, lovers, friends – heal the past *

* Create transformational relationships and community, and surf the synergy *

* Integrate spirituality and sexuality, and use them to wake up *

* Build ever-deepening trust.  Share ever-deepening love *

* Be helped, and help others, to step into greater aliveness *

“In a world of carefully manicured spiritual teachers, Taber is refreshingly real and human.  He brings a depth of presence to each moment, standing with others in their vulnerability, beckoning us to embrace still more of our being.  I have seen him ride the waves of fierce storms without shrinking. He has touched me in my most vulnerable places and helped mediate relationship challenges.  His empath radar dissolves the illusions in which we wrap ourselves, thus enabling him to lead groups into much more intimate zones.  I am grateful to have Taber as a friend and a comrade in the quest for authentic realization.  I wholeheartedly recommend working with him”

– Stephen Dinan, author of Radical Spirit: Spiritual Writings from the Voices of Tomorrow

Format:  These workshops include teaching, discussion, experiential exercises, individual and group process work, meditation, music (Taber is a gifted singer-songwriter-guitarist), and perhaps dancing, yoga, or dreamwork. They must be taken in order.

“ Taber skillfully guided even the most resistant among us to a place of openness and healing...Most of all I was left with a strong conviction that I don't have to keep on waiting for my life to turn out one way or another...that it's wonderful the way it is right NOW."

 – Joe Tavormina, Director of Real Estate with Prandium Inc

“ Taber’s teaching style reminds me of a nature guide. He comfortably walks you along unmapped paths through new territory and encourages you to explore.  He gives you room, yet brings all his wisdom and sincerity to bear. He really wants to know his participants, and there always seem to be after-workshop conversations which create a wonderful community among the participants themselves.” 

– Danielle LaVigna, Associate Director, Next Generation (youth empowerment organization).

 Contact:   Josh at 707-478-1948 or josh@churchofsoul.org , or you may contact Taber at 510-655-5000 or taber@churchofsoul.org

  “ Taber  is uniquely gifted . He has an honest, and compassionate way of communicating--with friends, clients, and workshop participants alike. Words can't express how strongly I recommend his work. Because he has spent decades cultivating a compassionate understanding of himself and other people, he brings to any interaction an almost uncanny ability to read minds, hearts, feelings--and to support people in expressing themselves authentically, clearing all kinds of misunderstanding. People discover their own hidden treasures of warmth, passion, and forgiveness; all this while speaking vulnerably and openly himself. To connect with Taber is to experience yourself more fully and deeply.  I think he's one of the best therapist- communication guru-shaman-types on this planet.”  

– Grace Llewellyn, author of the Teenage Liberation Handbook, and Guerilla Learning, and Director of Not Back to School Camp. 

Background:  Taber Shadburne helps people transform their lives.  He’s been studying comparative mysticism, Buddhism, psychology, and conscious communication since the early ‘80’s, and teaching and counseling since 1990.  He’s completed two years in residence at Dharma Rain Zen Center, dozens of silent meditation retreats, an M.A. in Counseling Psychology, training as a Community-Building facilitator by M. Scott Peck’s F.C.E., certification as a Radical Honesty Master Trainer and extensive work with Brad Blanton, and many professional trainings.  He was recently published in "The Heart Of Healing: Inspired Ideas, Wisdom And Comfort From Today's Leading Voices" and is working on another book.  He is also a professional singer-songwriter, with an “unplugged” solo album that he is re-recording with a band.  He lives in community in Oakland, where he recently founded the Church of Soul, a community center for transformation, celebration and service.