July 15, 2006 | www.chuchofsoul.org |
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Soulful News: Hey there, Soulful Ones.... I'm writing you from Chicago, where I'm teaching some workshops, and am thrilled to report on how things are heating up at the Church of Soul: Our tele-seminar last week on Transformational Relationships left folks fired up, inspired and clamoring for more
And on the 27th, we'll have an evening gathering at the church to share the deep work I call - after the mystic poet, Keats - Soulmaking (www.churchofsoul.org/worshops.html ). This gathering, though introductory, will be plenty powerful and meaty enough to stand on it's own. You'll receive ideas, methods, and experiences that could be life-changing. Please join us for The Power of Presence. Below you'll find details on these events, and some of my words of inspiration, a sermonette from "the Preacher's Pulpit." Big Love, Events Soulmaking tele-seminar: Transformational Relationships Tuesday, July 25th, 8pm A regular offering here at the Church Of Soul will be our movie night, featuring a variety of films with educational, transformational, progressive and just plain fun themes. With the help of our resident Techno-God, John, I have installed a truly impressive theater system: 10 foot movie screen, digital projection, and 6-speaker surround sound. We will lounge around in comfort as we take in the sights and sounds of Soulful Cinema. “One Giant Leap fuses words, sounds, rhythms and images from across the globe to celebrate the creative diversity of musicians, storytellers, authors, filmmakers, artists and thinkers from cultures around the world.” One of my partners-in-creation, Josh, writes: “I suggested this film because of the amazing, grammy-nominated music, incredible video footage, and the nuggets of wisdom sprinkled throughout. It lovingly displays the world’s breathtaking artistic and cultural diversity, with a clear message of unity running throughout. Features: Michael Stipe, Kurt Vonnegut Jr., Tom Robbins, Dennis Hopper, Brian Eno, Asha Bhosle, Baaba Maal, Neneh Cherry, Ram Dass, Michael Franti, Maxi Jazz, Gabrielle Roth, Speech, and more. Experiencing this one will leave a lasting impression on your psyche.” Suggested Donation: $5-10. Thurs, July 27th, 7:30-10, at the Church of Soul in Oakland, by donation RSVP to: Josh@ChurchofSoul.org or 707-478-1948, info: www.churchofsoul.org/workshops.html Fri, August 4th, 8pm, at the Church of Soul in Oakland, $20, less in advance. RSVP & questions: Liorj@yahoo.com or 650-703-5688, info: www.passiondance.com For info on more events go to: www.churchofsoul.org Waking Up Together: Transformation through Intimacy PART I: Conscious vs. Unconscious Relationships Close relationships certainly have a way of bringin' up the messy stuff, don't they? You know what I'm talkin' about: loneliness or claustrophobia; grief or anxiety; jealousy, anger, or guilt. Or all of the above. And these feelings lead to conflict. And conflict leads to blame. And blame leads nowhere -- real fast. But just because conflict almost always does lead to blame, doesn't mean it has to. After untold hours of slogging through the trenches myself, and of helping others to do likewise, I've learned something: the raw energy brought up by close relationships can be skillfully harnessed, and conflict can be used compassionately, to create a deeper love and intimacy than we have ever known. When we unconsciously use relationships primarily to try to get what we want from others, they are tainted with guilt, obligation & resentment, and our communication becomes manipulative and blaming -- suffering all around. But when we consciously engage relationship as a transformational path, an interpersonal meditation, we can use them to cultivate a more generous love and freedom, we learn to cooperate and communicate skillfully. The unconscious relationship and the conscious one unfold inside of entirely different contexts, they serve entirely different intentions. The intentions served by the average, garden-variety, neurotic, unconscious relationship (in other words, the majority of relationships) are, by definition, unconscious. These revolve around the maximization of pleasure and minimization of pain – for me. Making sure I feel good. Inconveniently, two people cannot successfully serve this agenda at the same time for very long – the development of dissatisfaction and power struggles is inevitable. Consequently, these relationships are also characterized by a wealth of covert strategies and methods of manipulation, also unconscious, frantically employed in the vain attempt to control the other’s behavior. Sounds fun, huh? Transformational relationships are, in a sense, no less challenging (in some ways, more so, in some, less) but they serve a very different intention, one which is consciously chosen. They are consecrated to an evolutionary purpose. Consequently, the pain they entail is of a different order, because it is experienced within a transformational context. And these relationships, though not less challenging, are much more rewarding, more creative. Unconscious relationships are relatively static; conscious relationships evolve. Unconscious relationships become more difficult (or more dead) over time; conscious relationships become easier (and more alive). In future newsletters (and in Soulmaking events) we'll explore the nature of the transformational intention, creative conflict, high quality suffering, and the practice of bringing compassionate awareness to all the messy, juicy stuff of relationships. Within the crucible of this radical intimacy, old wounds are revealed and healed, dysfunctional defenses are dropped, and the previously problematic energies evoked by closeness – anger, sadness, jealousy, fear, guilt – although still challenging, become fuel for the fire of evolutionary growth, and actually help us create a deeper love and understanding. Amen. Taber Shadburne: 510-655-5000 | taber@churchofsoul.org |
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